Hello!
We have been enjoying the cooler weather here in KC. We ventured out to Adventure Oasis on Monday (courtesy of my wonderful colleagues at William Jewell) and enjoyed the (very cool) water. Connor especially loved the lazy river, which he went on at least 5 times. Kylee was a little hesitant about the waterpark, so she and I enjoyed sunbathing together on the lounge chairs.
Kylee has dealt with the loss of her little brother in her own unique way. When we watch Caden's DVD, she often starts crying. We shared the DVD a couple times this weekend, and it was rough for her. We believe that part of this is she doesn't like to see her Mommy being upset...and the tears still roll when I watch the DVD. So, I have tried to keep it together when she's around because it breaks my heart to see her hurting.
Our printed pictures arrived yesterday, one of which was an 8X10 of the 5 of us together (it is the same one I posted previously for you all to see). I put the picture in the "family photo spot of honor" in our entry way. Kylee looked at it and screamed "I don't like that picture! I don't want to see myself be a big sister! I HATE being a big sister!" I was caught off guard by her reaction and pulled her up on my lap. She started crying. I tried to get her to verbalize her feelings, which, of course, is difficult in this situation. "Does it bother you to look at pictures of Caden?" I asked. She nodded. "Is it because it reminds you of a sad day?" She nodded again.
God was with me in this moment, because I was able to speak to her without crying myself. I gently explained that it's important for us to remember Caden, and having pictures up will help us do that. I also acknowledged that it is hard for all of us to look at pictures of him, but reminded her that she has a special angel up in heaven watching over her. I also told her that when she felt sad, she could pray about it. That seemed to calm her down a bit. I asked if we could leave the family picture up for awhile and she could see how things go. She decided that would be okay. She then helped me pick some other spots around the house where we could put pictures of her little brother up.
Bless her heart.
Please pray for little Miss Kylee...that God would protect her heart and bolster her spirit. She was so excited to be a big sister and I think the blow of not getting to bring her baby brother home has hit her a bit harder than we imagined it would. While it is painful to see this, I also feel so blessed to have a daughter that feels things so deeply. Even though she is unable to verbalize her feelings completely, her love for Caden is so evident.
Caden is truly loved and missed...by all of us.
Lindsey, you're such a great mom and so patient with Kylee. It's probably difficult for Kylee to verbalize how she's feeling at her age, but it's good that she let you know she's hurting so you can help her through her pain. You will all be stronger people for having to go through this experience, but God will be there holding your hand. Your strength truly amazes me!
ReplyDeleteKarla
Precious little Kylee. What must be going inside her heart? I pray God goes to those places with her.
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to you Lindsey. As you grieve the loss of Caden, you also help Kylee and Connor navigate their own grieve responses. I can't imagine what you are experiencing. Please know that a day doesn't go by that I don't think of you.
Oh Lindsey,
ReplyDeleteThis really tugs on my heart for Kylee and for you. I can only imagine how it hurts all of you. It truly is a blessing that Kylee can get her feelings out in the open and not keep them stuffed down and pretend everything is okay. It gives such a precious opportunity to speak together about it honestly and honor Caden at the same time. She will always be a big sister to an angel. It is just so sad to see someone as young as her have to realize that love hurts too. I am praying for all of you as you miss this special baby boy so much. I miss him for you too.
Much Love and Prayers, Laurie in Ca.
What a wise and wonderful mother you are! Our prayers do go out for Connor and Kylee both--and of course for you and Brandon as you parent them through this situation. Your response to losing Caden is teaching your children (and many of us!) so much about God, faith, life, and love.
ReplyDeleteLindsey,
ReplyDeleteYou are such a good Mama and your children have and will continue to grow so much from this experience. Children are so honest with their feelings even if they don't understand them and I think it's wonderful that Kylee was able to express her anger and that God gave you the strength to nuture and care for her when she really needed it.
You are all in my prayers
Hi, again. I read something today that made me think of you and Brandon and I wanted to share it with you. "The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you." It brought me such comfort to read that I hoped it would make you feel the same way.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you guys daily and please know you're in my prayers.
Karla