I am going to try to post each day this week...and it is probably coming from a selfish place. As Caden's birthday approaches, I am finding that I am filled with several strong emotions...sadness, heartache, anticipation, hope, fear...and maybe taking the time to reflect on them on a daily basis will help me process a bit. We shall see.
This weekend was a good one. We played with the kids, got some work done around the house...tackling one of the last big projects I wanted to do before going to the hospital. While doing that brings a type A personality like me peace, it also brings with it an aire of finality. We are now down to our "one week to go" list. It is so painful for me to go through the motions of delivering a baby without being able to anticipate bringing him home with us.
Last night, we hosted a barbeque for a few families who are either currently pregnant with a terminally ill baby or have lost a baby shortly after delivery. These are folks that we have become acquainted with through Alexandra's House. We have communicated via e-mail, but it was wonderful to meet them in person. While our hearts ache for them, there was such comfort in getting to see that we are not alone in this experience, and that people have survived it. It was a great way to spend a Sunday evening.
We can feel the prayers of others and want to thank you for them. We have both had such a hard time over the last several days....I think there was an element of hope that maybe, just maybe, God would let us skip this part....and it is hard to know that despite all the pain and heartache of the last few months, we are now charged with mustering up the strength for this experience, too. It is just SO HARD.
In addition to much prayerful support, we have received so many wonderful gifts from friends and family...and one of them came to us last week in the form of a beautiful quilt created by one of our friends from church. It is made of cheerful colored cloth with Caden's name embroidered on it. Kylee looked at it last night and said "That's Caden's birthday present! He will use it to go night-night." The childlike perspective is so innocent, so faithful. To a child, eternal rest is not much different from a good night's sleep...resting in our Creator's arms. I am so thankful that we have Connor and Kylee in our lives.
Brandon just let me know today that the hospital we will be going to does have wireless internet access, so we will be posting regular updates to our blog throughout our day on Sunday. Please check often...we will not be shy about posting specific prayer requests. :)
Thank you all, so much, for your love and support. We are forever grateful.
"The Lord is my light and salvation--whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life--of whom shall I be afraid?" Psalm 27:1
How very Carlson Crew to host a barbeque for other families facing such difficult circumstances--I'm never surprised by the things you do, just impressed, amazed, and grateful that you all are in the world.
ReplyDeleteWe will check in a lot on Sunday--there are seven Long-Gerrards and a host of friends praying for you all that day. We love you.
Ben and Robyn
Lindsay and Brandon,
ReplyDeleteI will be praying for you non stop this week and will be with you in spirit on Sunday when you meet this sweet little Caden. God will give you the strength for each new day, moment by moment. He will give you exactly what you need on Sunday, you can trust His promise. Praying for Kylee and Connor also, that their hearts remain innocent and protected.
Love, Laurie in Ca.