Our Story




Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Under Two Weeks and Counting...

Good Afternoon!

I felt compelled to write a little bit today to give you all a quick update on what's been happening here at the Carlson house. We had a crazy, but wonderful, weekend filled with the celebration of Connor's 6th birthday. I will post pictures soon. :)

Connor continues to enjoy summer school and opted to go back yesterday despite having fulfilled our one week mandatory attendance. He did stay home today, saying that he "doesn't want to go EVERY day". I must say, it has been nice having him around today...and I think part of his reason for staying home is sheer exhaustion after such a long, exciting weekend.

I had my LAST Doctor's appointment a week ago. I am so relieved that I don't have to go back! We talked through some details of our hospital stay and labor...they will start my induction at 0900 on Sunday morning, the 29th, and we are hopeful that Caden will join us either Sunday evening or Monday morning, June 30th. At this point, I will plan to deliver Caden vaginally (leave it to a nurse to use that word on a public blog!), even though he is, at this time, breech. The Doctor assures me that given that he will be small, combined with my "favorable pelvis," we will have a positive outcome and not end up having to have a C-Section. I pray that she is right. The disadvantage of a vaginal delivery is that it tends to be more difficult on the baby, and therefore, decreases the odds that Caden will survive delivery. We are hoping for even a few moments with him while he is alive, so please be praying that he makes it through the birth without any trauma. It is difficult to opt not to have a C-Section...after all, as parents, our first responsibility is always to our children's health and safety, but we acknowledge that recovering from abdominal surgery in addition to the grief process is probably not the best thing for us to be doing...so please pray for a healthy and safe delivery for our little man.

As the day approaches, our emotions run wild. The relief from being done with this roller coaster will be great, but I think there is also a huge element of fear of the unknown that weighs heavy on our hearts. How long will labor take? What will Caden look like? Will he be born alive, or will his spirit be in heaven before we get to meet him? How will Connor and Kylee handle things? Are we SURE God will give us everything we need at this exact moment?!?!?!?!?! Needless to say, we'd appreciate you alerting all the prayer warriors in your life to be praying fervently for us and our families over the next couple weeks, and particularly on the 29th and 30th.

Aaron and Rachel, Brandon's parents, will be coming to Kansas City to help us with the kids while we are in the hospital, and they will stay for a few days after the delivery to help us get back on our feet and entertain the kiddos. My Dad and his wife, Lori, will also be helping with the kids, so we know Connor and Kylee will hardly miss us while we are gone, which we are grateful for. :)

We have decided to limit our hospital visitors to family...feeling that this is the best way to maximize our few precious moments with Caden. Grandparents, Aunts, and Uncles, along with Connor and Kylee, will be on hand to meet Caden and "hold our hands" as we walk through this difficult time. We are so grateful that all of you will be with us in spirit!!

Some have asked about a memorial service, and we have decided not to have one at this point in time. I know some might think that is a mistake, but we feel it is the right decision for us. We may arrange something for later in the summer, but for now, we will look forward to coming home to spend some quiet time with Connor and Kylee as we heal mentally and physically from our loss. Brandon will take a week off after Caden is born...his boss has been very gracious and encouraged him to take as much time as he needs...so we will get to be together as a family for a few days after leaving the hospital, more if we decide we need a bit longer.

Some have asked what they can do to help...we are thinking Brandon will return to work on July 7th, and after that date, the kids and I would love to have some company during the days. I am a bit frightened of how my emotional state will be after his time at home is over...so looking forward to visits from friends would be a huge blessing for me at that time. I won't be much fun to be with, but know that so many of you will love me all the same....:) The kids will also be climbing the walls, I am sure....beware that if you come over, I will look forward to showing you pictures and momentos of our baby boy if you are willing to look at them!

We have made arrangements with our Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep photographer, and are so grateful that we will have those precious images of Caden after he is gone. We also plan to take a special blanket, created by hand by my Grandma Loretta in California, to wrap Caden in while he is with us and then bring home with us as a physical reminder of him. We have been told that the hospital will also give us handprints and footprints from our precious one. They will also send us home with a lock of his hair. And of course, there's our heartbeat bear. Forever precious.

As our delivery date gets closer, we will be keeping in touch...we continue to be so appreciative of your thoughts, prayers, and well wishes. Thanks for checking in and come back soon!

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding: in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."

10 comments:

  1. Lindsey,
    I was getting on the computer to email you and find out how the appointment went last Tuesday, so I was so glad to see your post! We are praying for you and your family every day. I smiled when I read about your fear of the unknown. We did a testimony video on that exact topic! Brought a smile to my face to think of God's faithfulness in how he fulfilled all of our fears with His grace and mercy.

    So glad to see you ask for people to visit after Brandon goes back to work. I was pretty lonely those days and you are right, you will definitely want people there to just be around. I can't wait to see those pictures that you will have and hear all the details of his birth. It will be a precious time together no matter how it all happens. I am confident that God will have His hand in every moment of it.

    Please let me know if there is anything you need as the time draws near. Also, know that if you ever need to call, you can. Praying for you!

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  2. Happy Belated Birthday Connor. I am so glad you had a fun weekend celebrating this little man's birthday.

    As Cadens birthday approaches, it sounds like everything is in place for you. I am so glad that you have family coming in to support you. I am praying for a smooth and easy "vaginal" birth Lindsay. Nothing wrong with mentioning Caden's arrival path!!:) Better than the Stork Story in my book! Oh how I wish I lived close enough to come and sit with you after his birth. I am good at vegging and not expecting to be entertained. Know that I will be with you in my heart and praying you through. I would cherish looking at his pictures and talking about him with you. Your scripture here is perfect and I am standing on it with you. Asking Him to cast out any fears with His perfect LOVE.

    Hugs and Many Prayers, Laurie in Ca.

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  3. Lindsey,

    My situation was different then yours but I remember the bargaining I did with God to have James survive birth and he did. I asked for 2 minutes and God gave me 52, I will be praying just as hard for that gift to you. My hat goes off to you, I didn't continue my pregnancy to term (many different reasons, but a huge regret) and I have so much respect for moms who are able to make this decision..I will be asking for prayer for you on my blog! Love In Christ, Michelle

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  4. You and your family are in my prayers and thoughts and will continue to be. I am Hope's sister and also a photographer for NILMDTS, I am so glad that you have found someone to be there to capture Caden and the precious time with your family. I am praying for you.

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  5. Hi Crew,

    Thanks for the update. You have, as expected, handled the most difficult of circumstances with your characteristic grace, faith and elegance, and our love and prayers are constant now and always.

    Linds, I am going to make you a t-shirt that says "Skills: 1. Delicious enchiladas, 2. Motherhood, 3. Wifehood, 4. Friendship, and 5. Favorable pelvis." Would you wear it:)?
    Love you-
    Robyn and Ben

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  6. Lindsey,
    Perhaps you already know this...I have a Tigger book mark...something about Isaiah 41:10. I remember who gave it to me too. It has been such a fortress for me over the years. Thank you Lindsey.

    Love,
    Dad

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  7. Hi Lindsay and Brandon,

    Just stopping by this Friday morning to let you know I am thinking about you and praying for you. I hope you have a rest filled weekend full of peace and hope. Praying for everything right now. God bless you guys.

    Love, Laurie in Ca.

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  8. Hi Lindsay and Brandon,

    Stopping by on this Monday morning to let you know I am thinking about you and praying for your week to be a blessing as you wait to meet sweet little Caden so soon. May you be filled with His peace and joy and I am praying for precious time, as much as the Lord will give. I love you guys.

    Laurie in Ca.

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  9. Lindsey, I spent the last four days at a women's Christian conference and God gave me the following verse. It is most amazing and though it has been there for thousands of years, it is as if He showed it to me for the first time (don't you love those moments?). I am hoping it wil bless you as much...be secure in Him, rest on His shoulder. You were chosen and He is there for you and Brandon in this....
    "Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in him, for He shields him all day long, and the one the LORD loves rests between his shoulders." ~Deuteronomy 33:12

    Still praying.

    In His Graces~Pamela

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  10. Lindsey and Brandon,

    Please know that you are both in my thoughts and prayers this week and each day. I'm so glad that you have family coming to stay next week and give you support. Enjoy and treasure every second you're given with Caden. I've prayed so much for you to have some time with him and I know everyone else has that I can't believe that God wouldn't give that to you. I would love to see pictures of your sweet boy!

    Thank you for this blog so that I can keep up on what's happening. I really appreciate it! I know God will give you strength that you don't even know you have and you will get through this. God bless you!

    Karla Macken

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